I Had an Imaginary Friend Named Fred

Fred was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand and could ride around in the pockets of my and my friends’ school uniforms. He was quite a hit in my circle. An elaborate biography was elaborated, by me and my friends, that included Fred’s “cousin”, whose lengthy name included the words “Pumpernickel Bread.” It was a fun time. And at the time, I was a teenager. Was Fred a normal concept for a teen? Is it ok for children to have imaginary friends? And what purpose do they serve?

“If something is bothering you, you can control it or manipulate it in the world of pretending.”- Marjorie Taylor, University of Oregon

In researching the concept of imaginary friends, one name repeatedly popped up. Marjorie Taylor’s research interest is the imaginations and fantasies of children. Indeed, it’s a common phenomenon. Researchers like Taylor estimate that as many as 65% of all children have had imaginary playmates. There is an interesting breakdown when the imaginary friends of boys and girls are further examined; girls tended to have more opposite sex imaginary friends, boys tended to have imaginary companions who were more competent than they were.

But there are myths that surround imaginary friends. It was once believed that imaginary friends were the peers of only-children because they did not have siblings with whom to play. Clearly, we now see that isn’t the case. Only preschoolers were expected to have pretend playmates. Research has found these invisible allies in children and adolescents, with some researchers even suggesting adults may have them as well (as with several authors and their characters).

Imaginary friends were also believed to serve no significant purpose, apart from frustrating parents who were forced to set an extra place at the table, lest they endure a tantrum.

“Children who have imaginary friends are better able to take the perspective of another person” – Marjorie Taylor, University of Oregon

Findings reveal:

  • children with imaginary friends are able to engage in creative and original thought and use abstract reasoning skills (the ability to analyze information and solve problems on a complex, thought-based level)
  • imaginary friends may help children to better understand their emotions
  • pretend play can serve as a coping mechanism
  • children with imaginary friends tend to have more “mythical content” in their dreams
  • children with pretend playmates have richer vocabularies, are better able to entertain themselves and get along better with classmates

When to be concerned
Some parents discourage their child from interactions with an imaginary friend. Understandably, as by definition, it’s an entity that only the child can see or hear and visual/auditory hallucinations are a symptom of childhood schizophrenia. However, imaginative play, in itself is not suggestive of mental illness. If a parent is concerned that their child’s imaginary friends are more than mere child’s play, they should consult a professional.

Conclusion
Most children leave their imaginary playmates behind as they grow up. In my case, Fred died one day after falling from a tree in my backyard. I probably had become creative enough. For now, enjoy your child’s pretend play, and don’t forget to set that extra place for dinner.

Read More: Imaginary Friends
Do only children have more imaginary friends?
Imaginary friends open up fantastic world

Share

Advertisements

About Traci S. Williams-Nurse

Dr. Traci Williams-Nurse is a licensed psychologist who specialized in child, adolescent and family psychology. Her interests include child development, family functioning, video games and food. She was born and raised in Trinidad & Tobago and currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia.
This entry was posted in Friends, Play, Social Skills. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I Had an Imaginary Friend Named Fred

  1. Danny says:

    Great post. I never knew there were so many benefits to having an imaginary friend. What if your child never had an imaginary friend though? Is that significant? Also, how do parents differentiate between schizophrenia and regular pretend play because lots of children talk to their imaginary friends? I guess when delusions become dangerous?

    Peace.

  2. Traci says:

    Thanks for posting Danny. As suggested, up to 65% of children have imaginary friends, which means some 45% don’t. That’s still a large number and so, it would be normal for a child to never have had one.
    The link provided in the article (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/childhood-schizophrenia/DS00868/DSECTION=symptoms) further discusses the warning signs of schizophrenia. Merely talking to oneself/imaginary friends does not warrant the diagnosis.

  3. Pingback: Top 10 Most Popular Blog Posts | Child Space

  4. Terri Lee says:

    This is VERY weird!
    My imaginary friend named Fred was also small and fit in my hand and pockets. I carried him around everywhere.
    Seriously I was searching Google about this because of the movie. I was thinking that maybe there was some character named Fred children may have subconsciously picked up on.

    My whole family knew about him because I blamed everything on him. I’m 38 live in the US now but at the time I had this friend I lived on an AF base in England from 6 months old then moved back here at close to 4.

    I was wondering how common it was for Fred to be an imaginary friend’s name because the movie was very similar to my experience as well with him being very mischievous and all. All except my Fred wasn’t life size.

    Fred was around from the time I was about 2 to 6 then just seemed to disappear. He got me into quite a bit of trouble.

    It’s kind of freaking me out that yours also fit in your hand. I remember one very distinct time I got something on my father’s red velvet couch cushion and then tried to clean it up with bleach and then proceeded to (with the advice of Fred) put it in the oven to dry out the faded color it created. I caught it on fire. 😱 Well my Father wasn’t too happy about that as you can imagine but apparently he was more upset that all I seemed to care about was that Fred “needed new skin” because he got burnt in the incident. I was holding him in my hand crying.
    I remember vaguely, but my aunt and mother remember clearly and say I totally freaked out crying and everything about Fred going to the hospital and needing new skin. My mom gave me doll clothes and I told her not clothes, I need skin for him. He healed quickly from what they tell me.
    Anyway I had to write in because this seemed a very specific coincidence. Just Wow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s